A Return to Form

I was quite content to let this blog remain dormant; having said all I wanted or needed to say about the nitwits, it was time for me to move on. Rusty, Cussedness and everyone else have been doing a great job in dealing with everyone and it allowed me to continue with my career.

For those who haven’t been over to my current blog (99.5% nitwit free!), I’ll recap quickly what I’ve been up to. This time last year a former friend and I started Bandersnatch Books. In April of last year I took over the company in a rather abrupt attempt to keep it from going down the toilet-which is the direction it was headed. Those not involved chose to think of it as a dick move, while others wanted to play at revisionist history. I simply went on with business and after some initial turmoil was able to get back on track. We’ve released T.M. Wright’s “The People on the Island” and will be releasing K.H. Koehler’s “The Dreadful Doctor Faust” in a couple of weeks. I’ve put together an anthology of weird western stories chock full of award winning writers which will be out early next year, as well as sold my novella “Barbed Wire Kisses” to Skullvines Press (due out in 2011).

So I’ve been busy. I’ve generally stayed away from the nitwits and tried to be more productive with my time knowing others were fighting the good fight. Even La Femme Nikita’s rants were nothing more than a distraction. Yet now I find myself having to set the little nitwit that never could straight (so to speak), about a few things. Because I suck at taking screen shots, I’ll simply cut and paste all relevant posts, which you can find here, before Matt the Boy wonder can swoop in with his +3 scissors of Nitwit enabling and cuts the thread: http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/16903?page=2.

Since Nikita began the thread backpedaling on his “pen name” Lloyd, after spending months trying to convince everyone he was a real person, and attacking everyone in sight doing so, I thought I would have some fun and post the cover for Karen’s upcoming release and adding that Nikita should meet the Dreadful Doctor Faust. Nikita responded thusly:

Colbert — I like the opposite sex and only the opposite sex. Would it kill you to find yourself a woman once in a while?

Well the fact is it doesn’t kill me at all Peaches. See, I can find woman who not only a) find me attractive but also b) enjoy my friendship. I don’t slander women, refer to them as “fucking cunts”, call them whores, and other misogynistic epithets. I respect and love women. I just don’t want to sleep with them.  I find it rather amusing he thinks I’m trying to set up a sexual encounter with a fictional character-though that’s something he’s certainly used to I imagine.

Also I am addressing Black Death Books, Bandersnatch Books and Skullvines Press — if you don’t have anything of value to say on this thread get out of the thread because all you’re doing are being snarky little pricks.  Now you may go crawl into the world where you have your heads shoved up your ass.

Kudos for spelling Bandersnatch correctly, it’s not something everyone does.  However, no one under the Bandersnatch account made any comments in your preciousssssessss thread. My posts were as myself, and not representing my company.

Now Colbert I didn’t say that on here, didn’t I. Yeah you’re reading between the lines. The reason I admit that I am Lloyd Campbell now is because some troll kidnapped the pen name and trying to pass him off as a half-naked idiot with a unicorn fetish.  I wanted to make people think Lloyd was a different person because I really guised up my style as him.  People in the magazine actually thought he was a different person, well that’s part of being a pen name in that sense of the word — when the troll started lifting him for blurbs on plagiarized titles that is when it was time to let it all lay on the table so to speak.

Uhm, yeah Nikita you’ve not only said it on Shocklines but damn near every place that hasn’t banned you yet.  And here’s a hint, you can take any pen name you want, but you’re awful writing skills ooze through no matter what. Rearranging a turd to make it look like a snickers doesn’t make it one.

Colbert — the last time I got some action was in 2008. It wasn’t ten years, in fact it was only two. I will not mention names of the woman because I am not the kind of guy who would boink and tell.  I get letters from females all the time asking me to date them from time to time.  That’s the fun in being a bachelor author.

Which if I’m not mistaken was the time you posted a screencap showing your search for sleepsacks. You won’t “boink” and tell because there was no woman two years ago. If there had been we would have seen the police reports by now. I get letters saying I can be a millionaire as well, doesn’t make it so.
It’s nice to have Cynical, Solkirk and dogpoet say nice things about me (which i won’t cut and paste out of modesty :P) and they’re far more trustworthy in their poinion than Nikita ever could.
So, I hope this clears somethings up Nikita. I know you hate hearing the truth, but there it is.
And for those interested in what I’m up to writing wise, check out www.scottcolbert.com.

What I’ve Learned

It’s been almost three months since I’ve updated this blog. Time flies, I suppose, though I’ve been busy with my other blog, finishing up Barbed Wire Kisses, and prepping four Bandersnatch Books first release.

Rich Ristow and I have put together our own micro/small press business after months of research and seeing what works and what doesn’t. During that time, we’ve managed to get some great names to submit work, and though we only have one announcement at the moment, as well as submission guidelines for 2-3 other anthologies, there are also chapbooks on the horizon that we’ll be pleased as hell to publish.

While others natter on about the Legion, and continue to throw salt in their own self inflicted wounds, I’ve been busy doing the work. I haven’t been afraid to get my hands dirty, make some sacrifices and determine my own destiny. Wallowing in the past, refusing to accept responsibility, and blaming others is not my cup of tea. It’s not professional and it certainly accomplishes nothing. However, watching others has taught me a few things.

1: True friends know what constructive criticism is, and accept it openly.

2: Just because someone says they can do layout, doesn’t mean they can.

3: If you’re the boss, whether you think you’re wrong or not, you accept blame and shut up about it. You don’t blame writers or editors. And you certainly don’t name them in blog postings.

4: Those who spout out that they know everything about everything, generally know nothing except how to puff up their own ego.

5: 95% of problems can be solved by communication, and not petty attacks.

6: Cutting your losses can be painful or blissful-sometimes both.

7: Don’t talk about the poor pay structure of other small presses when you do the same yourself.

8: It’s always easier to point a finger at others while ignoring the reflection in the mirror.

It’s with these hard learned lessons that Rich and I embark on a new project, a new chapter, now divested of the petty drama, self indulgence, ignorance, and inflamed ego that we’ve both experienced.

10,000 and counting…

When I started my blog, I never would have thought I’d have gotten 10,000 hits in the spant of 75 days or so. The fact people read it and come back on a regular basis still amazes and humbles me. It also is driving me to make a better blog, become more interactive in the future, and be a place to share ideas, stories of the nitwits, debate and yummy recipes.

WordPress is overflowing with statistics; sometimes overwhelmingly so. I do know that the most hits tend to come with nitwits; however, Rusty and ETT do that to perfection, and in a lot of ways I’ve scaled back on my nitwit watch. I’ve thrown in politics, as I’m a news junkie, and simply because I’m in the Obama camp is no reason to think I don’t welcome healthy debate. I’ll keep posting on nitwits, because sometimes things need to be addressed; the recipes will be coming along again, as will some new reviews of books and things I find of interest. I hope you’ll stay with me, as I post my progress on the trilogy as I write it; watch for another contest with a cool prize coming soon, and a podcast that will be up in the next week or so. I wanted to have that up this weekend, but had some problems with audacity, that I’ve now sorted out (I think). I’ll also be moving the blog to my own website within a few weeks as well, thanks to Sephyroth over at themudflats.net.

And yes, pics from Azeroth will be a regular feature as well; particularly once the new expansion comes out.

I thank each and every one of you who take the time to read my posts, and hope that you continue to do so in the weeks and months ahead.



A Tale of Two Kitties

What do Polish game developers and my job have in common? They both collided this morning to create one of the worst mornings I’ve had in a long time.  The week was ending on a sour note to begin with. I’d been passed over for a promotion at work, had my schedule changed to something more inconvenient and just generally in a bit of a funk. 

But Rain, what about Polish game developers? I hear you ask. Well today was the release date for a major update for the PC RPG The Witcher. It included a ton of updates, and extra content that they were giving to the original owners of the game (as well as selling in a special edition in stores). Since I was off today (after being asked to switch my shift today for Saturday) I figured I’d get up, start the d/l of the 2 gig update and run errands, while it was being downloaded. The problem is just about every other person who owns the game thought the same thing and there were a lot of problems with the servers. I restarted a stalled d/l for the fourth time in an hour, when I heard this horrendous screeching followed by a thump at my front door. I set my laptop down, opened the door and had a really pissed off, and hackles raised stray run in through my legs quickly followed by his/her attacker. Detta, my cat, is very territorial. One time I was feeding some of the strays, and when I put food out one night she ran out and chased them away. that was the one and only time she ever went out, as she’s an indoor kitty. Well I had a cat fight going on in my living room, with my cat hissing and getting agitated. I went to grab Detta to get her out of harms way when she slipped through my hands and pounced on one of the others. I tried grabbing her again and one of the others began scratching and clawing at me, getting some good ones in on my arms. The other cat, was on it’s back defending itself from my tough gal. I stepped away quickly wondering what the hell I was going to do and an idea came to me. I grabbed my dust buster vacuum and turned it on, and chased the two intruders away from my cat. I scooped her up and got her into the bathroom to lock her in while I got rid of the others. Well, this didn’t sit well with her, as she began scratching at the door, and yowling. I went back to the living room, opened the front door and had to chase each cat out from hiding places. Apparently the vaccum caused a cease fire to find hiding places. It took me almost half an hour to get them out. 

Detta had stopped scratching as fiercely as she had, and I went to let her out when I saw a small pool of blood on the floor, and droplets of blood along the bathtub. I picked her up and saw her belly had blood all over an  area about 3-4 inches. As luck would have it, there’s an animal hospital/veterinary clinic, about a block from my apt. I was able to get her in the pet carrier and took her down there. All this and it was barely 730 AM. 

After waiting almost an hour with an increasingly irritated cat, I finally got in to see the vet, who stitched her up. 225 bucks later I was getting ready to leave when the vet told me I should go see my doctor for the scratches I got from the other cats. I got her home, called my primary care physician and was told to come in immediately. One co payment and a tetanus shot later, I’m finally home, exhausted, sore and feeling like hell.

And the d/l stalled again. 

I think it’s time for a nap.

Mama Rain and Sister Rain

I spoke with Mama Raingods this morning, curious about her take on the speech from Scaracuda last night. Let me preface her comment by saying she’s been a lifelong Republican and switched to being a Democrat in 1996 only because she thought Bob Dole was too old to be president and was concerned about her impening retirement. In many ways she’s still a Republican, and was somewhat comfortable voting for McCain. Her response to me was, “That woman is batshit crazy. There’s no way I’d ever vote for him as long as she’s on the ticket.”

I asked her how my sister was doing in the wake of the hurricane, and she said that Sister raingod’s brother in-law went with her husband to total up the damage and it came to 31,000 dollars, not including what was in the garage. The Red Cross had gotten them assistance within 72 hours, and FEMA said they could apply for a loan through them and it would take 90-120 days to process.

It’s that kind of red tape that is strangling this country.

Out of context

I posted a comment on Sl yesterday in response to a comment made by Jknight here: http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/6386

And today my comment was taken out of context and posted on Odark here: http://theotherdarkplace.com/mboard/index.php?topic=15371.30.ored

I don’t want to say things got heated, because all I was doing was stating my opinion while being bored at work. Well some got offended and I was called a moron. I referred to the one calling me a moron as a right wing toady. Still, I wasn’t angry, but stating my opinion. I’m not mentioning the names as you can see it all on the links, but I wanted to say something about here.

Any of my comments are ripe for picking. I post on a public blog, on public forums and don’t hide anything.  I have a thick skin, and can deal with being called names. However when you take things out of context; when you ignore the obvious, or fling shit, I won’t sit by idly. Nitwits aside, I don’t seek to hurt anyone (and nitwits are in a prepetual state of butthurt so they don’t count) and I apologize to anyone who felt that way. However, I suggest if someone feels that way by a comment (whether by me or anyone else) then I suggest you look at why it bothers you so much.

The day I died

It was close to midnight on Oct 8th, 1999. I’d seen my date off and settled in to check my email before calling it a day when the worst pain I’d experienced dropped me to the floor. If I’d had razor blades for dinner that night it felt like they were passing through my system. I barely made it across my bedroom floor to pound on the wall to get my roomates attention. When they paramedics came they had to put me on the gurney sideways because I couldn’t straighten out. Each bump on the road brought waves of pain as the 5 minute drive to the hospital seemed to go on forever. I remember being told to do drink some milkshake type stuff and promptly projectile vomiting it on the nurse who gave it to me.

I came to 3 days later with IV’s in my arms, tubes down my nose, my throat and a catheter. I remained that way for 11 days before I was removed from it all and taken out of ICU. My large intestine had a perforation and they removed a bit over 2 feet, during an operation that only 20% live through. The surgeon told my motheer to call a priest for last rites, and she told him, “He can’t die. He may be a pain in the ass, but he’s my pain in the ass!” It didn’t help her any that it was the same hospital my Dad had died at 10 years earlier.

It took me 6 months to fully recover. I have a scar that goes from above my navel to an inch above my penis. Solid BM’s are only a memory and red meat is on my not allowed to eat list (though I do cheat on that ocassionally). On the operating table I died, but I don’t remember that. I also died a half hour after the operation when my lungs collapsed and couldn’t breathe without the aid of a respirator. I don’t remember that either.

What I do remember is feeling lucky to be alive when Dr. Arnold told me all this.

Every birthday I have now is a gift. So if I get a bit post happy around this time of the month every August, it’s in celebration of a life that almost wasn’t. A celebration of friends who almost weren’t. A driving force to live a life still open to an unkown realm of exciting possibilities.