Romance is Dead

The Lustful Dead gives new meaning to the phrase, “a dead fuck.” While LD has been available in the U.S. since its release, Europe, and specifically the U.K haven’t been so lucky, and it has become quite hard to get a copy.

On the 15th of November, 2019 that all changes when the rest of the world is finally able to see Wade Radford’s darkest film. For those who aren’t familiar with Wade or his work, it’s simply to be said, you have to experience it for yourself. Mere words don’t do justice to his creations (his solo work as well as collaborations with Jason Impey), seeing is believing.

While I’ve written extensively about all of his movies in my upcoming book about Wade’s work, I’ve also said many, many times it is my favorite film of his, and I think one of, if not, the best performance of his career so far.

Lustful Dead is very simple, a filmmaker Joe Newton, interviews Haydn Reef, a self-proclaimed necrophiliac. The first half of the film is very reminiscent of Radford’s seminal work about pornography, Twink, simply an interview. Yet Haydn delights in teasing Newton as he explains very casually how he finds corpses and what he does with them.

Radford’s performance is chilling as he goes into explicit detail while petting his cat so lovingly. We truly are put in the director’s shoes in not quite believing Haydn, yet being repulsed by his actions. Those feelings get complicated as Haydn is nothing if not charismatic and you can’t help but liking him.

As the conversation goes on and grows more intense, Haydn shows the filmmaker around his flat on a tour he’ll never forget. You’ll have to watch it to see what happens. All I’ll say is that corpse in the bedroom isn’t just for show.

While you’re more apt to find Impey behind the camera, instead of in front, he does a fine job as the filmmaker in way, way, way over his head. His talent behind the camera is on display here as well, and he truly seems to be in his element.

As I mentioned earlier I think this is Radford’s best performance. With his short hair, and imposing demeanor, he truly unsettles the viewer at the same time you want to fuck him. A fine balancing act that few can do successfully. Anyone familiar with Radford’s Boys Behind Bars trilogy knows he pulls no punches, and erases any line conventional cinema may draw in the sand. And even as outrageous as they are, they’re nothing compared to what he gets up to in LD.

All that would be enough, but the fact all the dialog was improvised is a testament to his creativity as well as his acting.

To be completely open, Radford has been a close friend of mine for over five years, but that doesn’t mean I like everything he’s done. I don’t. And when that happens I’ll tell him.

However, when he makes something I like, and in this case love, I’ll shout it from the rooftops, and in this case Lustful Dead is one of the best indie horror movies of the last few years. It manages to be a bit of everything, but most of all, thought provoking. You’ll be thinking about it long after the final frame has faded to black.

Pre-order here

Release Day and Contest!

While it may be a cliche, and minimizes the pain women endure, a book release is like giving birth. After months of gestating, it gets released, leaving the author in a state of exhaustion and relief.

That’s simply my long winded way of saying Life in Amber is now available! The paperback is exclusive to Amazon, while the e-book is waiting for you not only at Amazon, but every ebook retailer imaginable, including Apple and Walmart.

You may notice there’s a difference between the two covers of each version, and there’s a reason for that. The e-book cover, for whatever reason kept creating errors when uploading to Amazon. It was rejected 3 times and I finally had to redo the entire thing. I really want to change it to what it should be, but afraid to touch it. Anyway, I still like it, and will probably leave it as is.

That aside, I’m running a contest starting on Monday September 10th, 2018, and closing on Friday September 14th. The task you have is to name the 10 movies that had an impact on me, which I posted on Facebook, and then name the play I wrote, which I talk about on the next episode of The Imaginarium. Post your answer on my FB page and the winner gets an autographed copy of the book! Easy Peasy, right? In case of a tie winner will be chosen at random, through the old fashioned name out of a hat, Good luck!

You can also purchase this and my other books here 

Enter contest here

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Link for podcast 

http://www.podcastcity.net/the-imaginarium.html

Life in Amber: Excerpt

September 7th, 2018. Mark that date on your calendar as that is when my new novel Life in Amber comes out! Until then, here’s the Prologue to whet your appetite!

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Prologue

 

             It begins, as every thorough account of the paranormal does: with a dream. I’m sitting in an overstuffed chair in the lobby of a hotel. There’s not a soul around, aside from myself and the clerk. His back is to me as he does some paperwork, unconcerned about the lack of customers.

             A Mylar balloon floats by at knee level. It’s losing helium and is folding in on itself. There’s a cartoon on it, SpongeBob SquarePants. I watch it get taken away by the breeze from the air conditioning, and in a moment it disappears behind a column. I stand up, knees popping, and hips aching, to follow the low flyer. I have no idea where it came from; instead, I’m more curious about where it’s going. Air conditioning aside, it seems to move with purpose, as if it’s on a mission. There is a white string attached to it that drags along the ground like a shadow.

            I follow behind, walking carefully, almost afraid to make my presence known. No, not almost, I am scared. On the surface, there is nothing to fear. The hotel itself is unduly bright, the fluorescent lights bleaching everything of its usual color. The balloon is innocuous enough, yet…

 Yet…there is something still not quite right. It stops, slowly turning and pauses as if looking at me with the vast, blue SpongeBob eyes. I hold my breath, not wanting to make a sound. It turns to the side and floats down the left-hand corridor. The hum of the air conditioning stops, and the silence becomes pervasive, almost as if someone has stuck cotton balls in my ears. I trail behind as pressure begins to build inside my head. I clamp a thumb and forefinger around my nose and hold my breath to get my ears to pop, but this only seems to intensify the clogged feeling. At the far end of the corridor are double doors, the entranceway to a suite or conference room.

            The balloon seems to pick up speed, and when it bounces against the doors, they open gradually. A brilliant light starts to pour out, but it isn’t blinding; it is, if not soothing, then at least makes me feel a bit more relaxed. There’s a humming sound, not the air conditioning this time; it comes from inside the room as well, though it has a higher pitch and is faster. Rhythmic.

             The balloon disappears into the chamber, and I follow after. It takes my eyes a bit to adjust to the brightness, and when they do, I emit a soundless scream. I may as well be in the vacuum of space, as any noise I make is siphoned away.

            This is no conference room. It’s nothing I have ever seen before. Coffins made of amber line the expanse; they are all on stainless steel tables with drains beneath them. I look at one and see the remains of my Uncle Albert who had died decades earlier. His blue eyes bulge and his mouth opens and closes like the gills of a fish in its death throes. His gaze turns to me and pleads for me to do something. My heart sinks; Uncle Albert had always been my favorite Uncle. He was Uncle Al, the kiddies pal. While that may sound a bit creepy in today’s world, back then there was no malicious intent at all.

             I place my hand on top of the amber and feel it vibrate. His eyes widen and are the first parts of his body to explode. His blood and gore paint the inside of the coffin. I turn away, hand over my mouth. I look at the wall in front of me and see children pinned to it, the way you’d pin butterflies in a collection.

             Unlike the butterflies, these children are alive. There is one large pin through the abdomen and four smaller bolts in the hands and feet. Their eyes and mouths are sewn shut, and they wriggle weakly. In spite of the mutilations, I recognize them-they are classmates of mine from elementary school. The bullies, brats and hostile childrenbullies, brats and hostile children of divorce. As if sensing my presence their struggle intensifies, and while I can’t hear anything they mumble, I feel their emotions. The hate and judgment and blame are all directed at me as if I’m responsible for nailing them to the walls.

            There are six of them stuck to the wall. Each has on a white t-shirt with a number scrawled on it in their own blood? Ichor? It made no difference, as I memorize the digits, 6, 27, 32, 11, 47, and 52. There seems to be no discernible pattern to the almost randomly generated lottery numbers. As this thought enters and occupies my mind, the light in the room blossoms until I can no longer see. I’m hesitant to walk, not wanting to bump into the amber coffins. I shuffle along with my hands out in front of me, and I feel the balloon brush against my face. I’m finally able to let loose a scream, and it coincides with the balloon popping.

 

The sounds jolted me out of my sleep. Sweat covered my body and drenched the thin sheet over me, in spite of the chill in the room. I grabbed my phone, opened the note app and fumble typed the numbers I’d seen before I forgot them. I set the phone down and looked for a pack of cigarettes, forgetting for a moment I had quit two years earlier. I sat on the edge of the bed, a futon truth be told, and hugged myself, as the cold air dried the sweat on my aging skin.

 

I picked up my phone again and saw the date, September 13th. My birthday.

I was 50.

Stuffing my feet into my slippers, I rose, and began my day, even as the dream started to fade. It was time for my insulin. Birthday or not, diabetes doesn’t take a vacation. I could have been 10, or 20, or hell, even 80 for all that mattered, the fact was, I didn’t care.

Not about birthdays, not about me, and not about life.

 

Black Wake: A Long Awaited Review

It’s always difficult reviewing a movie, book, music, etc of a friend or an acquaintance. You truly hope it doesn’t suck as much for your sake as theirs. After all, who likes to tell people that matter their work is subpar. With Black Wake, I’ve become friends with the director, Jeremiah Kipp through his appearances on the podcast, as well as through Facebook.  Jerry Janda the writer, has become someone I admire greatly, and we’ve done our own podcast as well. He was the first person to read my book Life in Amber, and I actually read an early version of the script for Black Wake before it even went into production. I’m Facebook friends with several of the actors in the movie, not to mention my cohort on  Imaginarium Todd Staruch has a cameo, as does Tom Ryan, the Faces director.

Fortunately, I don’t have to worry as Black Wake is a fun little movie, that has ideas far bigger than the budget allowed, and does the best it can, which is  actually quite a bit. It’s hard to categorize Black Wake. It’s found footage, but doesn’t always feel that way. It’s part sci-fi with definite horrific elements. It’s kind of a zombie movie but not really. There are traces of The Thing, but only fleeting glimpses. It’s definitely steeped in Lovecraft (including an homage to the man himself when someone is drawing him in a mural on the wall).  Mostly, Black Wake is its own thing. Rather than simply copying the tropes mentioned, BW uses them as a starting point, and in Kipp’s sure hand, mixes them into something familiar, but uncomfortable.

Most of the movie is seen through the eyes of two government agents who are following a woman around, for unknown reasons, and we also see substantial parts from her point of view. It’s to Kipp’s and Janda’s credit, that they’re able to keep things close to the vest and keep you wondering what the hell is going on. While it can be a bit confusing at times if you don’t pay attention, information is repeated enough that you quickly get back on track.

Nana Gouvea plays the woman being tracked, and she does a great job going from someone who is seemingly rational to utter batshit crazy by the end of the film. It’s a role that could have easily been overplayed, but Nouvea’s Dr. Moreira is very restrained, and pitch perfect. Two of my other favorite performances were by Kelly Rae LeGault as the “specimen”, and Johnny Beauchamp as the homeless man who is the catalyst for everything that transpires. LeGault is fun to watch, combining creepy and appealing. Her scene where she runs into a car full of bros is one of BW’s strongest scenes, due to her performance. Beauchamp’s character is a far cry from Angelique in Penny Dreadful and shows exactly the range of emotion he can portray. When pieces fall into place, his character is truly heartbreaking.

There are several other names in blink and you’ll miss them roles including Tom Sizemore, Eric Roberts, Vincent Pastore, and Chuck Zito among others. They all bring a legitimacy and believability to the movie that might otherwise not be there.

Unfortunately the rest of the acting is hit or miss. The two actors playing the Google Glass wearing government agents are a weak point. Their lack of emotion is one thing, but they also come across as automatons, and aren’t really believable in their roles. Uneven performances aside, there are some issues with the story that keep it from being all it could have been. It wants to tell a story about mind parasites but doesn’t trust itself enough, so it becomes a pseudo-zombie flick which dumbs it down a bit.

The effects are great as is most of the CGI. The blood you see is mostly a black ink which keeps things from being as graphic as they could have been. There’s also a completely gratuitous sex scene/kill scene that adds absolutely nothing to the story except a few minutes padding. Which brings up my biggest annoyance: the running time. Billed at 90 minutes, it’s actually closer to 78, as the last 12 minutes are the credits intermixed with bloopers/cut footage. I don’t mind that necessarily, but here it feels like it’s hiding how short it is.

Beyond all that, BW is really a good time, and a great way to spend part of a Friday night. BW is creepy, effective, and in spite of its limitations, lots of fun.

Hellraiser: Judgment Get the Hell Out of Here

Anyone who knows me, even if just from the podcast, knows my favorite horror movie is Hellraiser. To be fair it’s one of my favorite movies period, and has been since I first saw it one sunny September day in 1987. It’s difficult to believe that was 3 decades ago, as the memory is still as fresh as if I had seen it only yesterday. I’d gone with a friend who was not fond of horror movies to say the least, and finally walked out after Frank’s classic, “Jesus wept,” line. I’m not sure he ever forgave me for dragging him along, but I couldn’t have been happier.

Everything about the movie appealed to me, and Clive Barker cemented himself alongside Stephen King as one of my idols. The idea of the Cenobites, their reason for existence, and Frank’s obsession with extremes was something that resonated with me, and has never been very far from my thoughts. With the advent of VHS players, Hellraiser became the movie to which I judged future friendships. If someone was able to sit through it, or even better, like it, I knew they’d be a keeper. It’s a test I still use to this day and has served me well.

I can’t say the same about the sequels. Even Hellraiser II, which some prefer to the original never had the profound effect of the original, and while I enjoyed 3 and 4-everything after that was nearly as painful as the implements hanging from Pinhead’s belt.  Even 3 and 4 weren’t especially great, but they were entertaining, and at least attempted to do something different, or expand the world that Barker had created.

When the rumblings of yet another sequel started rearing its head a couple of years ago (not to mention the remake which has fortunately not come to fruition yet), the news was greeted with an eye roll and shoulder shrug. Yet every time I read something about it, I have to say my interest was piqued more and more. Even when Doug Bradley said he wouldn’t be playing Pinhead, I still had hope.

And now after several postponements and some time in limbo, Hellraiser: Judgment will be available on VOD Feb 13. The short answer to the question of whether I like it or not is, “Well, it doesn’t suck!”  And while it’s probably the best of the direct to obscurity sequels, it’s not exactly a good movie.

 

The first 10 minutes or so is spent expanding the mythos that Barker began all those years ago, and it is easily the best part of the entire movie. We follow what turns out to be a pedophile to an abandoned house where he is strapped into a wheelchair. A tube winds itself from the victim to a typewriter, where The Auditor types his sins with blood flowing from the tube onto pages made from flesh.

Once completed The Assessor comes in, seasons the paper with tears of children and eats the paper, then vomits it into a funnel. The vomit then makes its way into a trough where The Jury, 3 women with their faces stripped away plunge their hands into the mess and deliver a verdict.

When that’s completed the pedophile is then strapped to a table where The Cleaners come in, lick his entire body then pour their spit into his mouth to cleanse the inside. The final step is when the Butcher makes his appearance, an obese dark Angel who carries The Surgeon on his back who filets the victim and strips his skin off.

The whole process is so fascinating; I really wish there had been more, as I was mesmerized and sickened by the process. Sadly, the rest of the movie doesn’t live up to this beginning, as we then get treated to a substandard serial killer/cops on the trail flick. Pinhead and the gang are relegated to the beginning and end with just a couple of quick scenes in between. Paul T. Taylor is a fantastic Pinhead however, and makes you realize a Hellraiser movie can succeed without Doug Bradley. This incarnation really hearkens back to the original movie. Pinhead here is all business, and scary as hell. His black eyes and calm, almost bored demeanor are a highlight for sure.

Director Gary J. Tunnicliffe also plays The Auditor and is also a highlight, and as I said, wish there had been more of him and his level of Hell in the film (he’s not a Cenobite, but another aspect of Hell). Heather Langenkamp, of Nightmare on Elm Street fame has a sneeze and you’ll miss it cameo, and I have to believe there’s a lot more of her on the editing room floor than in the movie.

This brings us to the “detectives” working on the case; a pair of brothers, played by Damon Carney and Randy Wayne, as well as a female detective assigned to the case, played by Alexandra Harris. These characters are easily the weakest link in the movie. You never believe they’re actually brothers. Let alone detectives, and in spite of solid performances, the script really lets them down. Harris does a fine job as well, but feels like she was thrown in there just to spice things up.

The biggest problem the movie has is the small budget. There are so many cool ideas that could have been explored but had to be cut because there simply wasn’t room in the budget for them.  The “detective’s” office looked more like a closet with some furniture thrown into it, and the finale takes place in an empty warehouse. I don’t blame the director for these choices, as you work with what you have, but still I can’t help but wonder what this movie could have been had they had a decent budget.

While I would have a hard time recommending buying the DVD/BluRay, I don’t think people will mind spending a few bucks to stream it. There are far worse movies out there, but in terms of Hellraiser sequels, you’ll find none that are much better. I just hope we get a proper sequel one day with more than a $1.98 budget, this franchise deserves more.

3/5 Pins