A Return to Form

I was quite content to let this blog remain dormant; having said all I wanted or needed to say about the nitwits, it was time for me to move on. Rusty, Cussedness and everyone else have been doing a great job in dealing with everyone and it allowed me to continue with my career.

For those who haven’t been over to my current blog (99.5% nitwit free!), I’ll recap quickly what I’ve been up to. This time last year a former friend and I started Bandersnatch Books. In April of last year I took over the company in a rather abrupt attempt to keep it from going down the toilet-which is the direction it was headed. Those not involved chose to think of it as a dick move, while others wanted to play at revisionist history. I simply went on with business and after some initial turmoil was able to get back on track. We’ve released T.M. Wright’s “The People on the Island” and will be releasing K.H. Koehler’s “The Dreadful Doctor Faust” in a couple of weeks. I’ve put together an anthology of weird western stories chock full of award winning writers which will be out early next year, as well as sold my novella “Barbed Wire Kisses” to Skullvines Press (due out in 2011).

So I’ve been busy. I’ve generally stayed away from the nitwits and tried to be more productive with my time knowing others were fighting the good fight. Even La Femme Nikita’s rants were nothing more than a distraction. Yet now I find myself having to set the little nitwit that never could straight (so to speak), about a few things. Because I suck at taking screen shots, I’ll simply cut and paste all relevant posts, which you can find here, before Matt the Boy wonder can swoop in with his +3 scissors of Nitwit enabling and cuts the thread: http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/16903?page=2.

Since Nikita began the thread backpedaling on his “pen name” Lloyd, after spending months trying to convince everyone he was a real person, and attacking everyone in sight doing so, I thought I would have some fun and post the cover for Karen’s upcoming release and adding that Nikita should meet the Dreadful Doctor Faust. Nikita responded thusly:

Colbert — I like the opposite sex and only the opposite sex. Would it kill you to find yourself a woman once in a while?

Well the fact is it doesn’t kill me at all Peaches. See, I can find woman who not only a) find me attractive but also b) enjoy my friendship. I don’t slander women, refer to them as “fucking cunts”, call them whores, and other misogynistic epithets. I respect and love women. I just don’t want to sleep with them.  I find it rather amusing he thinks I’m trying to set up a sexual encounter with a fictional character-though that’s something he’s certainly used to I imagine.

Also I am addressing Black Death Books, Bandersnatch Books and Skullvines Press — if you don’t have anything of value to say on this thread get out of the thread because all you’re doing are being snarky little pricks.  Now you may go crawl into the world where you have your heads shoved up your ass.

Kudos for spelling Bandersnatch correctly, it’s not something everyone does.  However, no one under the Bandersnatch account made any comments in your preciousssssessss thread. My posts were as myself, and not representing my company.

Now Colbert I didn’t say that on here, didn’t I. Yeah you’re reading between the lines. The reason I admit that I am Lloyd Campbell now is because some troll kidnapped the pen name and trying to pass him off as a half-naked idiot with a unicorn fetish.  I wanted to make people think Lloyd was a different person because I really guised up my style as him.  People in the magazine actually thought he was a different person, well that’s part of being a pen name in that sense of the word — when the troll started lifting him for blurbs on plagiarized titles that is when it was time to let it all lay on the table so to speak.

Uhm, yeah Nikita you’ve not only said it on Shocklines but damn near every place that hasn’t banned you yet.  And here’s a hint, you can take any pen name you want, but you’re awful writing skills ooze through no matter what. Rearranging a turd to make it look like a snickers doesn’t make it one.

Colbert — the last time I got some action was in 2008. It wasn’t ten years, in fact it was only two. I will not mention names of the woman because I am not the kind of guy who would boink and tell.  I get letters from females all the time asking me to date them from time to time.  That’s the fun in being a bachelor author.

Which if I’m not mistaken was the time you posted a screencap showing your search for sleepsacks. You won’t “boink” and tell because there was no woman two years ago. If there had been we would have seen the police reports by now. I get letters saying I can be a millionaire as well, doesn’t make it so.
It’s nice to have Cynical, Solkirk and dogpoet say nice things about me (which i won’t cut and paste out of modesty :P) and they’re far more trustworthy in their poinion than Nikita ever could.
So, I hope this clears somethings up Nikita. I know you hate hearing the truth, but there it is.
And for those interested in what I’m up to writing wise, check out www.scottcolbert.com.

When Sense Becomes Nonsense

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later. You can’t wallow in the mud without getting any on you, and being mistaken for other pigs in the pen.

Which has happened to The Rusty Nail.  After spending years of watching and reporting their antics, Rusty has been developing some of the same symptoms: looking for anything little thing to latch onto, whether it makes sense or not, confusing discussion with attacks, lashing out at people for no reason at all.  It started a few months ago with a comment Daggy made on someone’s blog, the blog writer gave a non committal response, and he was branded a nitwit for no particular reason.

Next Nick Cato posted a generic positive review of Daggy’s short story collection, and snark went up about that, in spite of the fact Nick is well respected in the field, and the review was hardly a rave.

Most recently, Rusty posted about Phailbin and one of his numerous posts of 9/11 paranoia, taking him to task for bad math. then went into her own nitwitesque rant about Obama’s health care plan. Others disagreed with her, or pointed out the way Phailbin did his math, and got invective hurled at them. Myself included. Now this isn’t a grudge, as anyone who’s read my blog, know that Nikita has said some of the most horrible things anyone could say.

It is however a plea for Rusty to take a look at her behavior, and maybe take a step back and look at things objectively. I have nothing but respect and admiration for what she’d done at The Rusty Nail, but there’s a fine line between on reporting the news and becoming the news.

Dagstine’s Delusions

In another futile effort to claim attention and somehow seem relevant, Sir Larry has posted a question on SL which once again proves, when it comes to writing, to being a writer he completely misses the point. Daggy asks here, http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/9270?page=1, whether we write for immortality or money.

It’s been my experience that anyone who writes for either achieves neither.  Many writers I know don’t make a living from it; and those that do, are also involed in the industry in other forms. Then there are the bulk of writers, which I include myself in, who write in their spare time and work other jobs to pay the bills. Oh yeah, we dream of making Stephen King money, having multiple book deals, movie adaptations, accolades and sycophants at our disposal; at the end of the day however, we’re simply doing what we’re wired to do. 

There’s something that compels us to write. We’re storytellers, with fertile imaginations and an ability to entertain others. They called this lying when I was a kid. If I never made a dime from my writing in the future, I would still do it, because I don’t know hhow to stop.  If I do it for money, immortality or whatever, not only does my writing suffer (as then it’s filled with purpose and other pretentious twaddle) but I delude myself. 

And that’s why Dagstine, for all his bleatings about his resume, will never be remembered for anything but being an internet douchebag. He sees writing as easy money, as a way to be relevant, and achieves neither. 

He does however serve a purpose; he stands as a beacon for all new writers of what not to become, what not to do, and what not to emulate. In that, his failure is an overwhelming success.

Larry the Thief – Update

Proving once again that any attention is better than none at all, Dagstine manages to hijack another thread and make it about him. In a quite innocuous thread, S.D. Hintz talked about your first job as a teenager.

Innocent enough, right? Then along comes Larry the Thief who says,

The tips back then ranged from 2 bucks to ten per delivery, throw the regular hourly rate on to that, then throw me “Helping Myself” here and there from the cash register or Lotto box (shhh….lol). That pay on some weeks was more like $15.00 per hour.


A thief is a thief is a thief, no matter the age. The fact he was a teenager and, presumably, knew wrong from right, and stole money is a crime. Thus, beginning the pattern of thinking everyone owes him something, rather than relying on his own efforts.

See, some things never change.


Update – Matt the Grinch

Just as Cussedness pointed out, Matt did lock the thread, and once more I’m left to wonder why? Was it our taking Daggy to task for theft that did it? RN Lee calling bullshit on the whole story? Or maybe Matt, frustrated that his Milton wunderkind is rejecting his overtures, got in a snippy mood and decided to take it out on those of us who know BS when they smell it.

Or maybe it’s because, Larry was Matt’s secret santa, (something Daggy made sure to advertise in another thread), and wanted to protect his “special” friends.

Larry the Loser

Lorenzo the limpwristed, loser is at it again on SL, http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/7590?page=2

with thinly veiled threats against someone, most likely Janrae. I’m so tired of the chickenshits like Larry. They have a huge chip on their shoulder, all because they’re douchebags. They spend time plotting revenge, nursing grudges and living a life of bitter jealousy. To compensate for being such a shitheel, they pick on others. All big talk in misspelled words, often in bold or caps.

Larry, you’re a despicable, worthless piece of shit. The tragedy in your life, is the fact your kid will spend their entire life being embarrassed by you. You have no talent, no redeeming qualities, and are one of the biggest liars I’ve come across.  You’re a joke. A farce. A fart from God’s ass. Nothing more. You have no substance, no dignity and certainly no respect. 

For all your tough talk, you’re nothing but a punk ass bitch. You lie about your credits, your health and everything else under the sun. If you were dying of thirst, I wouldn’t even piss on you; it would be a waste of body fluid.

In short, Larry, go fuck yourself.

When Lorenzo Speaks…(no one listens)

I’ve thought about whether to write about this or not. Thought about it on and off all day actually. On the one hand, there are some good lulz to be had, and on the other, something about it doesn’t sit quite right. Dagstine claims he’s being interviewed by Johnny Guerrero a former writer for Game Pro magazine.  At first, that rang true, as I’ve read gamepro for a long time, and the name sounded familiar.  However, knowing daggy’s inability to tell the truth about anything, I googled the name. Nothing came up. Well nothing about Johnny Guerrero or gamepro, anyway. I then googled Tyler Nagata, a writer over at gamesradar.com.  He came up. I then googled John C. Dvorak, a writer for pcmag.com and also of the cranky geeks podcast. He came up. Hell, I googled my name and I came up, and even my blog when I searched for raingods. 

Yet Johnny Guerrero didn’t. Not only that, there are only two posts. The first post talks about how he deleted his old blog and started a new one.  and then there’s the headline: Money in the Bank Writers; An interview with sf writer, Lawrence Dagstine. Yeah, click the link and read the post. If Johnny, does indeed exist, and did work for gamepro, he could come up with a more accurate title than that. By Larry’s own admissions on his blog and various posts on Shocklines, money isn’t something he ever seems to have. There’s the boast of 300 plus stories, etc. One would think, even a game journalist, would be able to do a little research on someone before they herald and trumpet the spin that daggy likes to put on his career. 

so I’m calling bullshit on this, until it’s proven otherwise.

Dagstine On the Loose

Not one to have an original idea ever; Dagstine rips off other nitwits for pointless threads. The original post here, by ace nitwit dlatham: http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/7289.

And Dagstine’s follow-up is here: http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/7296?page=1.

The good part is his last sentence:

 P.S.: please give me attention now; or, a nickel for your thoughts.

Daggy, neither you, your thoughts, or writing are even worth a nickel.

Philbin and Dagstine, together again

It never seems to fail, when one nitwit pops up like Nikita did today, the other two follow. Dagstine was a busy, busy ear cancer survivor today posting on most every topic on the first page over at shocklines tonight.  He even manages to create a topic of his own: What’s your fiction approach http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/6994

Lorenzo, you should learn how to write fiction first before trying to pretend you actually know something about it. BTW, I guess the ear cancer miraculously vanished as well, you haven’t been pumping that for attention lately. Or maybe you finally realize no one takes you seriously. Not as a writer, or as a person.

Not to be left alone, brit-hack Philbin is whoring another review of his crapic (a shiity epic is what that is), over here:http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/7007. Do I even have to say the first (and only) one to comment on it, is his favorite butt buddy Lorenzo?

Looks like they’re all gearing up for another clusterfuck this weekend. 

Don’t worry, I have plenty of popcorn to go around.

How to be a nitwit in 6 posts or less

Going by the name AD.thenewabsurdistforum, this new Shockline member has shown how to be a nitwit in 6 posts or less. You’ll remember a brief mention of him from a post about Lorenzo last week when he called Janrae batshit crazy. He did everything to kiss AD’s hind quarters to get someone, anyone, to pay attention to him. well the oozefest continues. And not surprisingly, they go after the english language.


apparently, AD doesn’t believe you have to write using proper english. L33t speak, txt speak is perfectly acceptable. After all, according to AD, William Gibson wrote a short story using nothing but full stops and commas for grammar. New nitwit writes:

This is the 21st century and language is changing… communication has developed… ever sent a text message? Did you understand it? I wager you did. 

Why yes, I have sent text messages, and I generally understand what I write.  The question here is do you? Simply because one author wrote a story to experiment with style, does not make it okay to further corrupt the principles and rules of communication. So I would kindly suggest you learn how to write first, and then maybe experiment. Simply because language is changing (something very open to debate anyway) is not an excuse to write crap. 

But you’ve been tomoviewed so you know that by now.

and Lorenzo, ever the helpful parasite, posts a link to this article, for evidence. Read it and hurl. 


Class dismissed.

Everybody in the pool!

Well if it’s not NIkita extorting people for money, stealing their stories or finding sleepsacks, it’s Phoolbin with his tinfoil brigade. and now we have Douchestain being an uteer and total prick. Again. 

It starts at shocklines (well of course it does, what doesn’t start there?) Where a butt hurt author who got tomoviewed here http://tomoview.net/forum/index.php?topic=14185.0, whines about elitism. Douchestain makes a snarky comment about Janrae in the guise of railing against the very same people he tried to fit in with a few months back on Odark.  Janrae defends herself and Douchestain then has the gall to call her batshit crazy.

Look you nitwits, I work 10 hours a day, try to write, play World of Warcraft, keep up with the info on Palin over at mudflats, and keep up on my blog.; would you cooridinate your meltdowns so they don’t all happen at once? sheesh.

And Lorenzo, if you really want to see batshit crazy, look in the mirror.

time for me to settle a score with a dwarf (and I don’t mean La Femme Nikita).