The Impotence of Being Nickolaus


In his latest whinefest, attention whoring, incoherent rambling, Nickistiltskin regales us with his latest bad idea: his new full length non fiction piece (of tripe).

Two artists came forward to wanting to illustrate the book,

I’m not sure wanting to cover it in graffiti rife with penises is the same thing, but hey, it’s his delusion.

 I will be doing some of the illustration duties.

Yes, because his artwork is so much better than his writing. This is much like saying dog poop is better than cat poop.

The background of the body of the book is my illustration from 2000.

So he won’t even being doing anything new, but recycling past bad work. At least when the Fremen in Dune recycled their own urine it was useful.

 and taking pictures that were taken by the ex-room mate of me and pictures that were taken as I was going out to Scott Davidson’s birthday bash in 2011 as C. Pacione took the picture of me in the full denim and a leather blazer that my cousin loaned me as I was staying with them in their Ravenswood condo.

So he’s either confused about what taking pictures means, or he’s taking pictures of other pictures. In either event, nothing scream bad ass horror author like a blazer in a condo. totally goth!

 I am looking for artwork that is a balance between Tourniquet and Cradle of Filth with the dark imagery of their music and lyrics portray.

So he wants illustrators to rip off the work of other people? Yeah, that will go down well.

This is not going to be an easy project to pull off

The only thing he can pull off is…nah, that’s too easy.

I am going to introduce my name logo for this book in this post here so you get to see the ominous nature of the logo for the book.

The fact he’s writing anything is ominous enough, but want to guess what isn’t in the post like he said?

 I am doing everything via HTML here.

Geocities graphics coming right up!

The hard part is getting all the artists in tune with what I am trying to accomplish with this masterpiece.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! Masterpiece!! Wait, I need to catch my breath! He can’t even get in tune with being coherent, much less get an artist worth a lick of salt to understand his utter ineptness.

 The full length ties together Collectives, Collected, An Eye In Shadows, and Dirty Black Winter — then the anthologies will be tied together.

Oh you naughty devil, always thinking of bondage. I imagine them bound together in a sleepsack that  only shows stains under blacklight.

 It is the Nickolaus Pacione companion as written by Nickolaus Pacione himself.

lolwut? Lloyd too busy to put it together?

 As for Melany, you know nothing about my friends in Chicago.

Nicky, we all know your friends in Chicago: they consist of your left and right hand.

11 thoughts on “The Impotence of Being Nickolaus

  1. That was too funny…sometimes I swear he writes this stuff just to give you material. I love how he ignored all the past feeback how his crazy fints make his books unreadable. Afterall, the problem must just be he doesn’t have enough fonts.

  2. Nicky is trolling for anal photos again on FB:

    “If someone was to send me a photograph of their anus for a book cover, I would blacklist them but make fun of them without mercy — that is something I would expect from Mike Philbin”

    Was that a submission call?

  3. That derp-head writes more about a guy he’s never met and who’s been dead for four years than he ever did about his recently departed grandparents — who he lived with for decades.

    That pretty much makes him a poster boy for assholes, right there…

  4. Poor Nickinocchio…Brian Keene’s “The Conqueror Worms” is now at the Poe Museum library. The museum was kind enough to snap some photos for me- 1st is Some amusing ones should follow today as well as giving some thanks to Stinkycat. Poor Nicky. Mr. Keene didn’t even have to lift a finger to get it in there either.

    1. Well, there are Facebook friends and there are the friends that would actually let a stinky greasy narcissist lounge around their home. I fear he doesn’t have many of the latter.

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